Get In The Game, NOW!

blink... and 20 years goes by

Today, everyone is thinking about time.  We’re in the first hours of a brand new year.  A slew of football games are going to hinge on last-minutes heroics.  Maybe someone at your house is baking something that has to be pulled out of the oven at just the right moment.  I’m writing today to consider the absolute #1 most important allocation of your time – your children.

I hope you’ve signed up for email blasts from the National Center for Fathering / Fathers.com.  NCF CEO Carey Casey sent out this nugget just last Thursday (12/29):

…the best way you can improve as a dad is by spending more time with your children ...

The email continues with some great exhortation and encouragement.  I’m sharing the whole email at the bottom of this article.  In his book, Championship Fathering, Carey Casey writes:

We tend to think of time as a fluid thing – that we’ve got plenty of it.  But we can’t insist that our kids stay young until we get around to doing all that insightful coaching we planned to do for them.  If we miss that time, we miss it.

Yes, time is fluid, like a river running over a cliff!  It’s gone in flash – an instant, and you know what you mean when you say “come here this instant!”  Watch this great one minute video – sixty things that only take a second.  

Dad’s, NOW is the time to be a dad – this second!  I want to tell you a painful lesson I learned about the difference between quantity time and quality time.  My oldest son, probably age 7 or 8, made a “date” with me to watch a basketball game.  We snuggled up on the bed, snapped on a little black & white TV, and settled in to watch some roundball.  After several minutes, I became distracted, I’m just not a basketball kind of guy.  I probably picked up a book or noodled some notes, but still, I was right there in the bed with him and the TV was on.  Probably around the start of the fourth quarter I sensed that he was irritated.  “I wanted to watch basketball WITH you!”  This disappointing moment was hurled back into my consciousness when I read Carey Casey’s  Championship Fathering line:

Surfing the Internet on laptops three feet apart isn’t quantity or quality time.  Spending (or investing) time means being together…

Dads, you getting’ the drift of all of this?  The time you spend actively engaged in the life of your child is the time where you influence and encourage them.  Don’t think being in the same room with them is getting the dad job done.  Last quote and then the big finish:

Fathering is a pasture fenced with time.  The size of that fence determines the size of the relationship.  Increase your parenting time even a little and the relationship grows greatly.  Nip a foot or two out of the fence and watch the pasture shrink.

Clark H Smith quoted in (NCF founder) Ken Canfield’s The Heart Of A Father

Dads, are you watching some pigskin today?  I’m soaking in it.  Here’s a subtle observation:  The guys on the bench are not making a difference in the game.  The only guys who have a chance of getting a win for the team are the ones on the field when the whistle blows and the clock moves.  And dads - heart-to-heart from me - now’s the time to get in the game.  The game clock is moving at warp speed.  Indulge me two more minutes.  Watch this ancient Kodak commercial from the mid-60s (which seems like only yesterday).

Wipe the tears away and get in the game.  Click all those links to Fathers.com and sign up for the great resources they offer.  Maybe you should treat yourself to  Championship Fathering while you’re at it.  And by all means, sign up to get the IGTBTD blog in your email inbox.  Once a week or so I’ll be sharing more encouraging words for dads.

Clark H Smith

PS - If you want a real jolt, Google "father" + "time".  

12/29/2011 email from Carey Casey / fathers.com

Planning on dropping a few pounds? Giving up caffeine? Reading a book a month?

These are all great resolutions, but you might want to add one ...

How about making a resolution about being a better father?

Likely, the best way you can improve as a dad is by spending more time with your children ...

You could create a standing date with your son.

Or, instead of sitting down and watching the news, you could spend the first 30 minutes with your kids when you walk in the door.

Why not take your daughter on that weekend trip you’ve been promising her?

If you are like me, your biggest concern in relating to your kids is probably finding the time.

So take out your calendar right now and mark out blocks of time to spend with each child. Then, get your hands on your kids’ school calendar and make sure you can attend the special events.

Happy 2012!

Carey Casey